She is honoured
Immensely
That HE who has
The pick of any woman
Wants her

The sheer joy
On her face
Was a site to behold
When the call came
Yet again
Come over for a short time
I need you now
Please tell him to send you
Just for a short time

The man to whom
His friends’ wives
SMS close-ups of their cunts
Wants my wife’s
And she is thrilled
HE wants it

Pierced by their arrows
For five harrowing years
The wolf tries to survive
Carrying the worst wounds
It has endured in his life

Wounds of loneliness
Wounds of betrayal
Wounds of desperation
Of hopelessness
Deprived of love
Deprived of touch
Battered on the job
While his mate
Succored her lover
Justifying herself
Because her mate was so bad

The wolf licks his wounds
Waits for his mate
And thanks to Buddhist guilt
And inconvenience
She claims she is finally
Weaned off her lover
And returns after all these years

The wounded wolf
Wary, suspicious
Snaps at her
Snarls at his rival
The top dog to whom
She gave herself
Howls at the pain
Unsure of the now
And about the future
Whom is she in synch with
The old wolf or his rival?

She says she loves him
Can the woman who vowed
To be by your side
But didn’t
Now love you
But still be in love with the her lover
Is her love true
For you or for him?
After all she declared
She gave him her true love
Then how would you describe
The love she offers you?

The wolf is wary
The wolf is in pain
The wolf is confused
He wants to fight
He wants to flee
He wants to lie down — and die
But gets up and keeps going
But how long can he,
The poor, aging,
Wounded lone wolf?

It began on my computer
The seduction
Night after night
Late into the night
She sat there
At my computer
Sweet-talking
Exposing
Seducing
The woman who hated
To stay awake past her bedtime
There she was
Chatting him up
Seducing him
On her husband’s computer

So can you blame him
For wanting to smash it?

And wasn’t the lover smart
To gift her one?

I am too old to fight
Over an old woman
If her lover wants her
And she wants him
Let them

Like a good Buddhist
I didn’t fight to stop her before
Won’t start now
If that’s what they want
Let the good Buddhist adulterers
Satisfy their good Buddhist longings
For their Buddhist selves

Devout Buddhists
With fat appetites
For wealth
Power & glory
All earthly delights
And other men’s wives

They want it all
But never enough
Want more

Hankered for it
Clawed it
Fought for it
Killed for it
And earned it

And the women
Falling over each other
To give themselves
Unable to resist
The heady aphrodisiac
Men of power ooze

So satisfy their lusts
And their great needs
Give them more
To gorge on
Numero Unos
At the apex
Of the politico-military complex,
Movers and shakers
Mighty BIG takers
With master’s privileges
And heavy thanha for bukhthi
Under veneer of bhakthi

So take it all, my lords
It’s all yours for the taking
Lusty lords of the earth!

Man
outside
his own marriage
The ultimate

outsider

She gave a good part of her 40s
To her lover man
While her ‘husband’ slept alone
And struggled alone
And was sick alone
And survived alone

Now Buddhist guilt trips
And sheer inconvenience
Weans her off her lover we hear

But Alpha summons
He has urgent need
And the woman
Must go

She’s all yours, BOSS
Short time, long time, all time
You can have her
The only precious thing I had
Your comfort woman
At your service, BOSS

While she gave him all the support
To do his job, well satisfied
Nicely done
While she even thought out
For him what to pack
I barely survived my job
My livelihood
With which I
Kept myself alive
And helped them

The man who had it all
All the support
Of his wife — his centrepiece
His many friends
Many women
His concubine
His piece on the side
My lost centrepiece
Maneuvered for him
Even my support

Build him up
Break me down

Not a damn could she give for me
And my survival
Much less support
To carry on my livelihood
I survived by the skin of my teeth

Come over any time
For some tender loving care
She insists
After all that’s what friends are for

Build him up
Break me down

A long time, three decades
To gather stuff
The good and the bad
The ugly and the beautiful
Thrills and spills
Highs and lows
Agonies and ecstasies
A checkered history

Old photographs
Bring back faded memories
Of budding romance
Of youth and laughter
Of friends and gatherings
Of journeys taken
Of raising a child
Of celebrations
Of many happy times
In the years gone by

But a heap of e-mails
Also tells stories
Of old baggage
Misunderstandings
Clash of colors
And sense of proportion
Treadmill stress
And unmet needs
Matters of money
The banal and the domestic
Different directions
And power struggles
Loneliness and frustration
Separations and reunions
Friends and lovers
And friends turned foes
Hurts meant and unmeant
Losses and gains
Games of blame
Fanning flames
And family conundrums
Jaded old scripts
Knifing the romance
We try to restore

A heavy drag
This musty old baggage
Wish I could ditch it
Open a blank page
Write a different story
Travelling light
In fast-fading time

SS
29 September 2010